There was an ache deep within Ace’s chest, one that he had never thought to feel again, one he hadn’t felt since Dogra told them he watched Sabo’s ship sink. He was the last one left and it was wrong, so very, very wrong. Out of the three of them, it should have been Sabo and Luffy who deserved to live their life to the fullest, it should have been him to go first.
He never deserved to live, not with the demon blood that ran through his veins.
Ace is being stupid. Ace deserves to live because he’s Ace! I’m happy you live because I love you! The best big brother! Luffy’s voice rips through the chaotic swirl of bitterness in his mind, washing away the clawing webs of black with warmth.
It only made the pain ache worse.
Never again will he be able to hear his brother’s voice, hear his laugh… It had been two years since he even saw Luffy. He had always hoped that the three-year wait with only Den Den calls and slow coo-mails were good enough till his brother joined him on the seas. Now that was never going to happen because…
Because…
Because Luffy was gone.
“Ace-yoi?” Marco’s voice called softly from behind the solid door at his back.
“Go away.” His voice was a rasp, a broken and bleeding thing from the screams he couldn’t hold back the moment he locked himself in. “Leave me be.”
“You need to eat Ace.” Thatch’s voice was next, worried, and stern in a way that reminded Ace of when he first got aboard the ship, when he was still trying to execute Oyaji. “You can’t keep starving yourself.
His stomach churned at the thought of food, at the mere smell of it that wafted under the door, but Ace couldn’t eat. How could he? His grief dragged him down under, strangling him with its claws and washing away everything but hopelessness and the desire to waste. Depression is what Deuce had called it long ago when Ace had one of his bad days, something everyone at one point or another experiences in their own ways, but Ace always took it to the extremes.
Isolation, dissociation, and lethargy would keep him in his bed for days… when he was younger, after Sabo, it was Luffy who pulled him out. When he left, when the nights on Spadile were quiet and the voices got a bit too loud, Ace called his brother.
No matter the time; if Ace called Luffy always answered.
The Den Den sat unhooked in the corner of his cabin where it had rolled to three days ago when Ace shut himself in his room once Shanks left. He called and called and called… just to drive the point home that Luffy was gone.
The destruction that followed would take the 6th division days to fix everything. His bunk, his desk and shelves, the walls… everything but one spot was splintered and shattered into pieces at his feet. The only things that survived his grief-fueled rage were the items of his home, things his brother had sent him. Sabo’s pipe, the small box of poorly scrawled letters and pictures Luffy drew him, the one image of all three of his brothers that Makino had snuck when they were sleeping curled up on the beach.
“GO AWAY!” He screamed as he could hear the doorknob rattle once again, his feet digging in, bareback pushing painfully against the rough wood of the door.
Steam rose off his skin, his fingers clenched tight around the blanket he had thrown over him in desperate hope. Even now it still smelled like his brother, ocean spray and the jungle just after fresh rain and sunshine but if he pressed his face hard enough to the soft fur then he could still smell Sabo’s parchment, chalk, and earth… could smell Shank’s soft rum, salt-stained canvas and damp wood twisting in with Luffy’s to create the smell of home.
“Ace! ACE!” Luffy’s voice called frantically from a distance, causing Ace to pause in his task of unmooring his boat. He had already said goodbye to the bandits, to Makino and Luffy who were supposed to watch him sail off from the cliff.
Panic flared within Ace as he shot up, feet hitting the ground harshly as he took off in a fast sprint towards his brother. Luffy wouldn’t come back, not unless something happened. He didn’t make it far before he felt his brother slam into him, rubber body curling tight around him.
“Luffy! What’s wrong? What happened? Are you hurt?” Ace gasped out, heart hammering as he sat up and patted his hands frantically over his little brother for any sign of injury.
“Shishishi I’m okay, I just forgot to give Ace something!” Luffy giggled as he pulled himself away.
Relief hit Ace for a moment before he smacked the back of his brother’s head. “You worried me, idiot!”
“AH OUCH ACE!” Luffy whined as he rubbed his head with a pout.
Ace couldn’t help but sigh. “What did you forget Lu?”
“Forget? OH!” Luffy giggled, flicking the booger from his finger before holding up his blanket. “This! I want Ace to take my blanket, so when Ace feels sad or lonely then he can hug my blanket and it can feel like a hug!”
Warmth flooded through Ace like a raging fire, his heart bursting with joy the likes only Luffy could bring. Ace didn’t know what he did to deserve someone like Luffy loving him so, didn’t know if he truly deserved it but Ace was a greedy thing… he grew up fighting for everything, food, blankets, to live… yet it was only when Luffy sat across from him, bandaged and tearful stating that he needed Ace, that he wanted Ace to live… did he truly realise how bad his greed truly was.
Luffy from that moment was his. His little brother to love and protect, only shared with Sabo through bond and Shanks because even then Ace knew what Ocean Blessed meant.
“Lu…” The name fell from his lips choked, wet, his hand shakily taking the blanket held out to him from his brother with a wide smile. He pulled him and the blanket in, squeezing as tight as he could to convey all he could in that one action.
“Shishishi… can I have Ace’s blanket?” Luffy asked once he pulled back and how could Ace say no.
Ace shook the memory from his mind, lifting his face from the worn fur and cast a look towards the cuff that rested on his wrist. The Kairōseki cuff was thin and twisted to look like a decorative bangle and he knew instantly it was carved by Benn, he fingered the weave of it before scratching at his skin. It was annoying that besides the drain of the Kairōseki, he also got a rash, but Ace knew he couldn’t remove it, not yet.
Marco had removed it the moment Shanks stepped back on the Red Force and sailed away, with a promise to meet him at Dawn… and the very second the Kairōseki left his skin did he erupt into blue flames, scorching the wood and nearly frying those close to him. Many of his brothers and Oyaji suffered a slight sunburn from the heat alone, but Marco sustained more as he slammed the cuff back on with sad eyes.
It was only then Ace bolted to his room and locked himself away.
He didn’t know how long he was locked away in his memories, but the other side of the door was silent, no fresh smell of food to reach his nose. His eye’s locked on the patch of wall that escaped his temper and allowed the grief to wash over him once more. He filled one spot of his cabin with photos of his brothers, leaving a blank space big enough for a Bounty to hang right next to his own… it was a dedicated spot for the first bounty of his little brother would gain when he sailed in a year… now it’s a spot that is forever going to remain blank.
X
Marco stood close to Pops with a pinched look of worry, eyes turning up when Thatch came back with a small shake of his head. It had been days since Ace had eaten, days since anyone had seen him at all. Marco would be lying if he said he wasn’t concerned because he was, extremely so and he knew Pops was as well. Both knew exactly how bad Ace’s mental health was to begin with.
Some days if it wasn’t for Luffy… I don’t think I’d be here…
And if it wasn’t because Marco could hear the soft muffled sobs of Ace each night he sat by the door that Marco didn’t bring it up with the others.
Newgate frowned into his cup, heart aching for his youngest. Since receiving the news the entire mood of his family seemed to shift. Ace was the favourite, the bright burning light that brought joy into their lives and to see him so burned all of them. In the days that led them through the New World to Paradise and finally into the East Blue, his sons and daughters had taken their wrath out upon all Marine vessels and outposts they passed.
It left him to wonder… Luffy, the child that was Ocean Blessed and beloved by Ace… was he who Oden and Rogers predicted? Was this waiting all for not? With a shake of his head, he stood, waving away the inquiries of his children as he made his way towards Ace’s room. He had waited long enough but he will wait no more.
“Son?” He called, knocking as gently as he could. “Can you let me in?”
There were several beats of silence till the lock of the door clicked and it swung open, Newgate pushed himself inside, ducking under the smaller frame and closing it behind him with a soft click. He took in the devastation around him with sadness, noting everything that survived with a pang till he found Ace curled tight in his blanket in the corner.
“Oh, my son.” He breathed out as he brushed aside debris to sit, reaching out to pull Ace into his arms carefully, holding him close. “Don’t let the grief overwhelm you so, would your brother want this?”
Ace choked and buried his face into his Oyaji’s arms, shaking his head. “No, he would call me a cry-baby and smack me… but it hurts Pops… I already lost one brother and now another… who else am I to lose next? Uncle? You? Every time I think I am happy; life decides to prove me wrong… I can’t believe they’re all gone. That Luffy is gone…”
Newgate sighed softly and looked upwards in thought before glancing down once more. “But is he? Luffy may be gone but he never truly will be. He has you to remember him, to carry on his Will just like he has that red-haired brat.”
“How?” Ace asked brokenly, hand coming up to brush away the tears.
“That’s for you to discover Ace, the way you grieve and remember your brothers and those you lost is something only you can decide,” Newgate explained. “Some days it’ll be easy, some days it will feel like the ocean trying to pull you under… but each day that you continue onwards is a day they are remembered, each breath you take is a reminder they existed because you love them. Because of that, because of you and that love, they will never truly die.”
“Thank you, Pops,” Ace whispered after a long moment, his stomach rumbling not long after that.
“Gurararara, lets get you fed son.”
X
Ace’s heart was heavy as he stood on the deck, eyes cast out on the growing speck of the island he had once called home. His brothers and sisters stood by him, they too giving silent support. The entire deck was sombre, many of them had seen the destruction of a Buster Call before in their long lives of piracy, but even then, the scene that they came upon was gruesome.
A strangled moan escaped Ace’s lips as they finally grew close to the coast of Dawn, memory of the docks that lead to Foosha should be. There was nothing left, only a splattering of green of threes that survived the blasts and the fire… half the coast crumbled into the sea, and the mountain range where the bandits lived was barely recognisable. Ash and debris scattered the murky sands, the ground, everything.
The Red Force was docked already, lifeboats anchored to the middle structure of what was the main dock, but it wasn’t the only ship there. Gramp’s ship was docked further down and with it was one he didn’t recognise at all, smaller, probably enough for ten people to easily sail.
“Ace?” Thatch called softly, hand reaching out hesitantly to touch his younger brother’s shoulder, only to flinch back at the heat that radiated from his skin.
“Theres… nothing…” Ace choked out horrified before turning towards Marco. “Get me to shore, I need… I need to…”
Marco nodded and transformed without argument, it was indeed quicker than Ace rowing over, especially since his devil fruit was contained by the seastone cuff. Marco and the rest of the commanders were surprised to note that even though Ace was drained, his temperature remained, and he still had his regular strength as well. It made them all wonder how strong Ace was before he ate his fruit to begin with and how much practice it took him to grow used to the effects of the seastone.
The moment Ace’s feet touched the ground Shanks was beside him, silent and sombre.
“Garp has already made a burial for the citizens of Foosha, we were waiting for you for Anchor.” He murmured, but Ace could hear the hardness in his tone, could see the sharpness in his eyes and the hand clenched tight around Gryphon.
“What’s the matter?” Ace asked low, deadly as his eyes scanned the wreckage of his home for the threat that Shanks must sense.
A low growl escaped Shank’s mouth. “Garp isn’t the only one to arrive. Dragon is also here, and it was almost a fight as the bastard declared he’d make his son a grave.”
Anger ignited within Ace at that, his eyes tearing away from the horrors before him to snap to Shanks, taking in the clenched jaw and broken eyes. “That’s a fucking lie. You’re his father, the Ocean blessed you so. When has Dragon ever given two fucks about Luffy? I didn’t even know about Dragon till I set sail and shitty gramps told me.”
“Well, no one told Dragon.” Shanks gritted out, eyes snapping down.
“Then that’s about to change, where?” Ace demanded his Uncle who refused to meet his eyes before looking at Benn who was just as furious.
Benn grinned wide and sharp, it wasn’t a smile of joy like Luffy always gave, no, it was sharp and jagged that promised pain and ruin. Ace was familiar with the smile because it was one he always gave, one that was ever present but dulled into tenderness by rubbed limbs and a sun-bright smile. When they had arrived at Dawn yesterday it was to see Dragon and Garp fighting, snarling viciously at one another while the Chief of Staff stood off to the side with his head down low.
Dragon dared to try and kick Shanks off the island, and had dared to claim Luffy as his as if he didn’t give him away in the first place. Dragon didn’t even know Luffy was Ocean Blessed nor that he resembled Shanks more than ever.
Shanks had said nothing beyond the fact they were waiting for Ace and here they waited.
“Garp took them up to the cliff where he found Luffy’s hat,” Benn replied darkly, grin still wide and waiting.
“Which one? Our one of Shanks one?” Ace asked in an instant.
A frown pulled at both men. “There was… what?”
“The cliff that overlooked the sea was ours. The one that overlooked the sea and Foosha was yours. Luffy went there every year on a particular day and forbade any one of us to go to it, he said it was your special spot like the treehouse was ours.” Ace explained simply with a shrug, chest aching in a way he was becoming familiar with and ignored the soft inhale of his Uncle.
“Your cliff,” Benn replied, smile gone and tears pooling as he watched his Captain close off once again.
With a nod, Ace began the familiar trek to the cliff, following the path that was only in his mind now. There were no twisting turns, no creek to jump over nor fallen logs to climb. It was all debris, the river dried up, trees hollowed husks eaten by fire. It took them half an hour to reach the spot and the people that waited at the top.
The arguing was still going, loud and clear tore through the silence, tainting the memories that were already burnt and ruined by cannon fire.
“He is my son I have the right to build him a grave!” A deep voice cracked across the open space and urged Ace to pick up his pace.
His own snarl, crackling like fire echoed back. “You dare claim to be Luffy’s father? Then where the fuck were you? Where were you when Luffy cried at night? When he begged us to never leave him? Where were you on his birthday? Where were you when Bluejam tortured him and raised the Grey Terminal to ashes… Where were you when we lost our brother? He was sixteen and died because of you! At least my shitty father had an excuse of being dead to never see me but where the fuck were you?”
The last word ripped out of him like a hurricane and splashes of red, he watched as the men shivered and the hooded figure buckled slightly under the power that emanated from him.
“You lost all right to claiming the title of Father the day you gave him up.” Ace continued, never looking away from the wide eyes of Monkey D. Dragon. “Do you even know what his dream was? His greatest fear? Can you even tell me the sound of his laugh? Do you even remember?”
Dragon swallowed as he stared at the young man before him, teeth bared in a cruel smile as he spat out question after question with the intent to maim but never kill. “Of course, I remember! I could never forget my son… I thought of him every day! But it was too risky for Luffy, being raised in war was never what I or his mother wanted for him! I wanted him raised loved and safe!”
Bitter laughter escaped the cloaked figure, drawing the eyes of all to him.
“Luf lived alone from the moment he could feed himself.” The figure stated. “He lived alone and unloved, unwanted till Shanks. He faced the beasts of these forests, dropped in ravines, and faced a pirate crew for his brothers because being alone was worse than being hurt. I respect you greatly Dragon, I owe you my life but that matters very little in the end now that I remember.”
Ace sucked in a breath as Sabo… for it can’t be anyone else but his brother… lifted his hands and dropped the cloak, revealing dirty blonde hair and sky-blue eyes. Though older and marred, one eye the colour of coral and haloed but red of a long-healed burn, Ace could always recognise Sabo.
“Sabo…” He staggered back into Shank’s hold.
Relief, wonder, and hope brushed through him only to be chased with fury and bitterness. In a blink, he was on him with fists and teeth that were reminiscent of their childhood days. A hundred fights, in the end, they tied the day Sabo died. With one beat his heart screamed in joy at the knowledge he wasn’t the last brother left and the next it broke because Luffy was gone.
“YOU BASTARD!” Ace screamed while he straddled his brother, throwing punch after punch only stopping as he felt Benn and Marco grab him. He didn’t let go of his brother though, only dragged him up with the momentum. Anger faded into grief once more, tears flowing freely down his cheeks. “You bastard… why couldn’t you come back for him? Why now when it is too late? I thought the knowledge of losing Luffy the way I did was the hardest… but… he didn’t know…”
“Ace…” Sabo choked out, broken and bitter, tears flowing down his cheeks.
Ace got to his feet and stumbled back, falling, and pressing his face into his knees. “Luffy cried for a week when it sunk in a month later you were dead, we had to call Shanks every day just to get him to eat. He… He died still believing you were dead and now he will never know.”
He will never know…
Ooops, wanted the Dawn chapter over and done with but this took on a mind of its own…
islenthatur 