Tomaz and Violet

It had been several days since Jaskier entered what the Bears called the Hibernation sleep, Triss also told them that if he had not awoken after day three then she wasn’t too sure if he would wake at all. Between how severe his injuries were and the curse, Jaskier was very close to Death’s Embrace and none of them wanted that.

On the third day, Eskel gathered Lambert, Coën and Aiden to help him clean out one of the smaller rooms he could remember from his youth. It was close to the inner bowels of the keep, but far away from where they suffered the trials. It was used as an office he thinks, or something that would assemble that in a Witcher’s keep, big enough to fit two small dining tables and a cot in front of the fire.

No one wanted to leave Jaskier alone and Eskel couldn’t continue to see him waste away in the same room they all suffered. So, he took it upon himself to make a new space, get him brought to the room where they could eat and keep an eye on him. Maybe then Geralt would also relax enough.

Speaking of his brother, he was sat by Jaskier’s side once more, a frown on his face and a little green book. “What do you have there?”

“I found it when we moved him, fell out of his armour.” Geralt rumbled his voice rough. “It has a list of names, towns I remember but some of them I don’t.”

“Can I see?” Eskel asked curious, hand taking the book as Geralt passed it over. He idly flipped through the book with raised brows, there indeed were towns that he remembered but couldn’t recall way, little letters next to each town E, G, L, A, C… over and over in a weird pattern that he couldn’t decipher, and some were crossed out. “Strange.”

“Oh!” Ciri’s voice spoke in surprise as she stepped into the room carrying a basket of bread, stepping to the side while everyone else brought in the rest of the dinner, as is the custom these days. “You found the Banned book. I hoped it was around as I found his lyric book and Dandelion always carries them together, I’m glad it was found. He’d be upset if it were lost, and he had to remember which towns were still banned.”

All eyes snapped to Ciri as she happily smiled at them, humming a small tune as she went to Jaskier’s side and did her own check to see if he still was unconscious and alive.

“Banned book?” Coën asked with confusion.

Lambert snatched the book out of Eskel’s hand and read through it himself with Aiden reading over his shoulder, eyes widening a fraction. “I know these towns, look Goldhorn and Leefside were the last ones written. We were just there before the war.”

“Aye, the alderman at Goldhorn refused to pay us and Leefside chased us out with fire an’ pitchforks,” Lambert explained with a furrowed brow. “Why did he write em down?”

Realisation flooded Eskel as the little random letters next to the names were the initials of who told Jaskier these things through the bond. Where? Where? Where? That was Jaskier’s response every time Eskel told him about being run out of town if they treated him unfairly like Jaskier asked of him.

unbidden, Jaskier’s words from the night they met came to mind. So, unless you want your town blacklisted by all Witchers…

“Ciri?” Eskel started, waiting for the girl to turn and look at him. “When you say banned, how do you mean?”

Ciri shrugged a little and smiled. “I only saw him the once when I was younger writing in it, never knew what it was for, but he said that they’re blacklisted by Jaskier the Bard and all his friends. I find it odd since Geralt told me that you’d never leave a town in need, no matter how rude or mean they were to him.”

It was said so simply, in only a way that a child would say it, as if that action itself was self-explanatory but to Witchers… to those who knew what Jaskier had truly done. He may have been a Witcher but to them all, at the point of time he did this, he was human. He knew they couldn’t refuse a hunt, couldn’t refuse the aid of towns even if they spurned them… but he could, he as Jaskier the Bard, could.

The silence grew in the room, and it caused Ciri to look up, her happy smile dropping into unease. “Did… did I say something wrong?”

Geralt choked his face pinching in shame. “No, no Ciri… We-we didn’t know this existed. He never told us.”

“Then why do you all look like you got kicked in the chest?” She asked concerned, her fingers playing with a loose thread on her sleeve and eyes down. A nervous habit they all began to notice recently.

Swallowing thickly Geralt knelt to her level, making her look at him. “Because those towns are the ones that forced us out, that treated us as beasts we hunt. We didn’t…”

“We didn’t know that Jaskier kept note of the towns.” Coën continued as he saw Geralt struggle to speak, to explain. “He always asked, of course, we stopped asking why. But we didn’t know he had taken actions to punish those towns so to speak.”

“I don’t understand, I’m glad he did something, you all shouldn’t be treated like that but… I don’t understand what it truly means or why you are upset looking.”

“Ah,” Yennefer hummed from the door, drawing all attention. “Jaskier is well known Ciri, very well known. He is sought after by kings and queens to play in their court, towns across the continent know his songs and him. To be visited by Jaskier the Bard has become sort of a… blessing. Though that does explain the whispers, the rumours. To spurn a Witcher will bring you a life where music will no longer brighten your halls. Do you understand?”

“Sort of, so these towns are towns Dandelion will never play in?” She asked with wide eyes.

Yen smiled softly, “not just him Dove. If Jaskier decreed the towns banned by him, then those of his fellow artists he taught and were friends with him… they too would never grace their town again. I mean it literally, if you spurn a Witcher then no Bard would play in their town again till stated otherwise.”

“Oh.”

“Julien has always been different from us,” Gron stated from his spot in the far corner, his eyes still on the bowl of stew in front of him. “The Bear School followed Arnaghad’s philosophy that any code or knightly virtues were just inflated nonsense to feed the ego. He taught it to the cubs they trained and so on and so on with force, I myself added to that. Julien found me on the path, begged me to make him a Witcher like his siblings… that spirit never broke even when we beat him, when he went through the Grasses and found out only he of his class survived and not even doing trial of the mountain for his medallion broke him. His emotions made him deadly, his rage matching that of a provoked bear protecting its cubs…”

“What Gron’s long-winded explanation means is that Julien will do all he can for those he loves, if that means banning towns that hurt them to killing the king of Nilfgaard then so be it.” One of the Bear Witchers – Komos – stated casually, he too never removing his eyes from the stew and not noticing the other’s sudden change.

“What?” Geralt choked out.

Komos looked up and paused. “There were rumours that The White Flame was making his way to Cintra. When Julien came to Haern Caduch to collect the ingredients needed to make Rage we figured out what he was doing. I’d never seen him so enraged to take on nearly a hundred men with just three other Witchers to take out the White Flame. I don’t know if you have ever heard a Bear War Cry before, but Julien’s ripped across the ground with force, whatever he saw in the face of the King pushed him into a frenzy.”

“Took a sword to the heart nearly to kill him,” Zadin explained soft eyes unfocused. “That scene…”

Letho sighed from his spot on the far side of the room, “he did it all for the Kid, for you Wolf, so that you’d all not be hunted.”

Geralt felt his eyes slip closed as the words settled heavily over him. It seemed he owed Jaskier a lot more than an apology, so much more. I promise to make it up to you ten times over, to show you how much you mean to me…

“Enough of this.” Eskel stated rough, unable to take the scent of sadness in the room. “it’s been done, something we can ask him about when he wakes. I think it’s high time I tell you properly how Jaskier and I met. You see I just got back from a contract and…”

X

“Wake up lazy bones, you’ve been asleep for far too long.” A voice rang out, startling Jaskier from his slumber. It was a voice he hadn’t heard in decades, not since he… He shot up with a gasp, his hand going for the dagger at his belt but clasped around thin air.

“What?” He gagged; throat dry as he took in the meadow. He could have sworn he was in Kaer Morhen? Wasn’t he?

Hands settled heavily on his shoulders, causing him to tense until the smell of brine, damp stone and moss. “Easy brother, easy.”

“Tomaz?” Jaskier choked out confused, eyes still unfocused, the world brighter than he remembered. “What?”

Tomaz sighed as he pulled Julien to his feet, hands cupping his younger brother’s face gently, forcing him to look at him properly. Tomaz took in the haggard appearance, the jagged scars that ran across his face and neck, eyes flickering to behind Julien to see Violet’s agony written cleanly on her face.

“It’s okay Julien, easy braciszek,” Tomaz urged, placing his brother’s hand on his chest and taking steady breaths. “Breathe with me, in and out, that’s it.”

It felt like an age had passed by the time Jaskier finally was able to centre himself, to get all his senses under control. When cracking his eyes open didn’t cause immediate pain he let them open fully, taking in the green grass and the bare feet of the person – Tomaz – before him. Nothing made sense, where was he? Why was his brother here? Looking up he took in Tomaz’s young scar-free face and bright cornflower blue eyes. Eyes he remembered that should be gold.

“Human?” He asked slowly swallowing around the parchedness in his throat.

The sound of feet walking across soft grass had Jaskier spinning, crouched in front of his brother with a snarl of warning, he would not let whoever was sneaking up on him hurt his brother… it took him an embarrassingly long time to recognize his sister, her red hair dark in the shade and freckles he had last seen splattered in blood. A whine escaped his lips as he stumbled forward, meeting her halfway and collapsing in her arms, apologies heavy in his mouth.

“Shh Julek, its okay, it’s okay… it had to be done, I forgive you, I forgive you.” She crooned as she held him, holding up his bulk with her own strength, eyes locked on Tomaz who watched both with heartbreaking sadness.

It was a long time until Julien was able to pull himself together again, “where am I?”

“In the In-between. You pushed your body too far brother, soul stretched too thin and…” Violet trailed off with a harsh sigh. “You have a choice to make, here in this field with Tomaz and me, Julek.”

“A choice?” Confusion coloured Jaskier’s tone.

Tomaz nodded and stood next to his sister, gesturing to each end of the field. One was bright and thriving with buttercups, violets and ivy. It radiated peace and serenity, joy the likes Jaskier hasn’t felt in a very long time. The other was snow-kissed stones and decaying vines, a dandelion peeking out between the cracks lit by two blazing torches. It emitted a sense of pain and exhaustion, bloodshed but laughter.

It was confusing how both places pulled at Jaskier.

“You have to choose between the Afterlife or returning.” The explanation was soft but full of hidden meaning,

Jaskier looked at both doors so to speak if you could class them as such. “If I chose the one behind you, I’ll be with you both again?”

Tomaz and Violet looked at each other and nodded. “Yes.”

“Then that is what I want, to stay with you both! I’ve missed you both, so much.” Julek stated with a wide smile, though that smile didn’t last long as Violet and Tomaz cast another look at each other. “What is it? What is wrong?”

“We don’t want you to stay here, braciszek,” Tomaz replied sombre.

“But you’re my family, the only family I have left!”

“No Julek, we’re not, you have another remember? A family that would shatter if you just left.” Violet whispered brushing her fingers over the scar she had given him so long ago. Her heart had long stopped beating but it clenched in agony over the reminder she had given him, a visible mark that he killed her.

A sob tore from Jaskier’s lips, his body taking a step towards his siblings and away from the door that would lead him back. “Please, please… I am so tired of the pain; I can’t take it anymore… I just want to rest… they will go on. Please…”

X

A shattering cough echoed through the room, stilling the few left in there. Their eyes snapped to the body on the bed as the bitter tang of blood filled the air, thick and heavy in a way that set them all on edge. Levana was by Julek’s side in an instant, hands glowing faintly as she tried to find the source of the blood, coming up with nothing.

“Hiss heart iss weakening.” Serrit exclaimed loud with wide eyes, turning to Auckes to get the others.

Coën was by Jaskier’s side in an instant cursing up a storm, they had just gotten Geralt to leave the room to go and bathe down in the hot springs. Lambert basically had to carry Aiden from the room shortly before that to sleep as neither of the two wished to leave Jaskier’s side… now this.

His ears were strained as he kept listening to the thu-thump of his heart. It was wrong, weaker than even when he was brought in after the fight with Voleth Meir.

“Come on Jaskier, you can’t give up.” He whispered as he helped Levana unwrap all the bandages, eyes narrowing in on the one that was so close to his heart. It was angry and red, sure signs of infection but black veins pulsed out of it in a way that shouldn’t be without taking a potion.

Levana’s heart dropped as she saw it. “That’s impossible, your mutations shouldn’t allow this!”

Thundering steps echoed as Geralt tore through the doorway sending it flying into the wall hard enough to crack, his eyes wild and frantic, body heaving with strain as he flung himself across the room and to Jaskier’s side. Eskel was just behind him, barely dressed like Geralt and just as frantic.

“His blood is poisoned,” Levana grunted as she saw Triss and Yennefer rush in. “It… that shouldn’t have happened!”

A scream tore through Jaskier, eyes wide and unseeing as he arched off the bed, choking back blood again.

“SOMEONE HOLD HIM DOWN!” Yennefer screamed as her own hands began to glow and help aid the other sorceress while Triss began to crush and mix ingredients.

Geralt did as commanded and pinned Jaskier by the shoulders, his forehead resting on Jaskier’s as a steady weight. “Please Jaskier, fight! You can do it, keep holding on.”

Still, Jaskier continued to thrash even when Eskel and Serrit held down his legs, though the thrashes grew weak, breaths coming out in a wet rasp. Sweat and blood filled the room, sickness thick in the air and choked all of them.

Geralt continued to hold him close, careful of the wounds that the women were trying to heal, his voice barely above a whisper in Jaskier’s ears, words only meant for the bard to hear.

“Please Jask, please keep fighting to come back to us – to me. I can’t lose you, not now when I know I love you, please just keep fighting, come back so I can tell you to your face. So, I can apologise for the mountain and prove to you how much you mean to me.” The words were desperate and heavy with emotion, selfish but still Geralt begged for Jaskier to keep holding on, to not give into the pain.

Within one beat and the next, Jaskier’s heart stopped.

And Geralt’s world, promptly, shattered in the echoing silence.

X

Rage filtered across Violet’s face as Julien stepped towards them once more, her hand clenching in a fist and within one blink and the next she let her madness free and punched her brother in the face. Her lungs burned with heaving breath as she screamed at him.

“NO!” the word was snarled with power as she leaned over him with glinting eyes and bared teeth. “I will not allow you.”

“Violet, you know we can’t encourage him like this, it has to be his choice and he is choosing.” Tomaz tried to soothe his sister’s ire half-heartedly. He had to be the sensible one, being the eldest after all.

“Fuck that!” Violet snapped at Tomaz before reaching down and yanking Julek by the collar of his chamise, dragging him to the fire in the middle of the field. “Look!”

Jaskier’s hand pinched at his nose to hold off the blood but let it drop as he caught sight of the images that played in the dancing flames before him. He could see his body still as a corpse on a cot, Geralt being restrained by Eskel and Letho as he struggled to get to him.

Jaskier NO! NO! PLEASE WAKE UP!

WE’RE LOSING HIM!

You can do it cub, keep fighting!

His heart is stopping again!

Chaos swirled around everything, the field darkening with Jaskier’s mood. Goddess, even here he still hurt. He tried to push away from the blazing fire only to be held in place by Violet’s steady hands, her voice whispering to keep watch.

The images shifted rapidly, barely getting a hint of understanding before it moved to the next and the next. He watched them all mourn, watches as the Witcher’s parted ways come spring and he watched as Geralt threw himself into contract after contract till he could endure no more.

The scenes shifted again back to the room where all the pain radiated from, words echoing in his mind soft as he realised that the voices came from the pendant that still hung around his neck.

Please Julek, I cannot lose another member of my family. I cannot.

Wake up Cub, my boys need you.

I don’ know if ya can here me Julien, but if… fuck if you can please come back brother…

I owe you so much brother, for the medallion, for this family you thrust me into. I owe you my life, so come back so I can repay the debt.

Eskel didn’t speak, but Julien could feel the images burn their way into his mind. The surprise of the red leather armour that he received from him several months after they met… the joy he felt when another town Jaskier had stopped by was a little harness for Lil’ Bleater so Eskel could carry her on horse if needed.

I know how much pain you are in Julien; we owe you so much but even I know what it feels like to drown… if you need to go… please remember you’ll be missed but if you cannot Endure this life… then rest. Coën’s voice cracked.

Dandelion please, do not make me mourn more people I love…

Sobs tore out of his throat violently, hands clenching in his hair till his scalp burned with the pain. He knew that his friends cared for him, but he could feel their love tear down the bond of the pendant. He was torn, he wanted to stay with his siblings, but he couldn’t leave the others.

“Why are you showing me this.” He sobbed his tears burning down his cheeks and dropping onto the dying grass.

It was Tomaz who replied, “Because you are dying!”

Please Jask, I cannot lose you, I cannot. Fight, fight for Ciri, our brothers… for me. You are the light in this world I thought long lost, I’m selfish enough to admit I am nothing without you… you give me a purpose to be a better man. Please Julek. I can’t imagine a world with you gone… please… I love you.

Geralt’s voice tapered off into a sob, something Jaskier had never heard before. He has heard him angry, amused, annoyed, resigned… but nothing like this, nothing so heartbreaking and it was directed at him.

Geralt loved him.

Geralt loved him.

Geralt loved him…

Warmth bloomed within Jaskier’s chest, chasing away the agony that had been there for goddess knows how long, it spread through his entire body and oh… oh those words he had aways dreamed to hear but were thought to never be directed at him seemed to set his soul alight.

Laughter bubbled out of his throat as he got to his feet, grinning at his siblings who stared at him with soft fond smiles. “I’m sorry.”

“We know brat, we know.” Tomaz chuckled as he tucked Violet’s arm in his own.

“Tell Lev that Uval and I love her, that we await patiently in the fields for her when time comes.” Violet whispered, her body shimmering like Tomaz’s as he takes a step back towards the stone door. “Be happy Julek, let the past go and live.”

“I love you both,” He whispered as he closed his eyes and stepped back over the threshold.

Within the next breath his eyes opened, bleary and body aching. He could taste the grief in the air as he sucked in a ragged breath, coughing at the dryness that coated his throat. White coated his vision and set panic racing till he realised he was covered with a pall; a huff escaped his lips as he sluggishly brought his hand up to pull it away.

The room was empty, but he could hear Geralt down the hall, could hear the fight and it set Jaskier’s heart racing at the fact something was wrong.

Biting his tongue as he pushed himself slowly to a sitting position and then swung his legs around to place on the floor, Jaskier took note of the injuries. Most of them were healed, beyond the one Duny had given him. His Medallion clinked soft to the ground, the chain broken and Jaskier spared only a beat of his heart to take it in and the meaning of it off of him before staggering to his feet.

It was slow going but he managed to make his way to the hall where the snarls were coming from, he could see Geralt fighting off his brothers, Aiden was being restrained by Coën and Letho. Levana held Ciri in her arms with Yennefer knelt before her murmuring words Jaskier cared not to strain his ears to hear.

Gron, Vesemir and the others were trying to defuse the fight.

“Stop!” he wheezed, stilling the occupants, all eyes snapping to him as he slumped heavily on the stone pillar. “Stop… fighting.”

“Jaskier!” Geralt cried out and pushed past the others, skidding to a halt before him. They stared at one another for a moment before Geralt pulled him into his arms. “I thought I lost you.”

Jaskier sagged against Geralt who willingly embraced him, a strained huff of laugh escaped his lips as he stared down at Geralt. “You called me back; I heard you Geralt… I heard you love.”

“I heard you.” I love you…